CH. 68 - Tears After a Dance

After her heartfelt words reach deep into Hikigaya's soul, they pull back away from each other slightly as Hikigaya stares at her surprised. She keeps her hand on his cheek and stays close for a moment. She has a saddened look but one fulfilled. 

“Milo…” Hikigaya says her name softly. Milo looks down with a smile made of pressed lips before she jumps back, smiling even bigger with a blush on her cheeks.

“Just don’t say I didn’t try when you look back and realize how amazing I am!” She stands up with her hand on her hip and the other raised. Her smile shrinks just a bit. “Goodbye Hiki. It’s time I let you go.” She says with a soft smile before skipping away into the dance crowd. "Of course, if you still want to dance, I won't say no~!" Milo teases as she turns around and joins the crowd. The people turn to her with smiles as she waves to them before one girl butt bumps her, so Milo responds in kind, laughing all together. Hikigaya watches her with a look as if wanting to say something else, but he can’t find the words. He lets out a sigh as he looks down.

“I didn’t realize I’d feel so bad when she would finally move on.” He clenches his fist a bit before letting it go. “I guess that’s for the best. I’ll have to thank her properly next time I see her.” He says with a casual smile before turning and approaching the drinks.

He gets a cup of punch then finds a place to lean against the wall. Hikigaya sips his drink for a moment before noticing an abandoned cup on the side next to him. He stares at it for a moment, thinking before someone approaches him.

"Hey." the voice says. He looks up to see Kitaro looking at him. Kitaro makes himself comfy against the wall next to Hikigaya as Hikigaya looks at him.

"Not gonna dance?" Hikigaya asks.

"Nope." Kitaro responds casually. "Not much of a dancer. Hisana rushed off to dance, so I ain't got nothing to do now." Kitaro says with a sigh before opening his eyes. "Although she did say that if a-" Before Kitaro can finish speaking, suddenly the music begins to slow down and the lights dim. They both notice the music starts transitioning to a slow song.

“Now it’s time we slow things down a bit. Grab onto your dance partners and hold them tight as we swing to this soft beat.” The DJ says to the crowd. Kitaro sighs as he gets off the wall and walks away.

"Duty calls, I guess." he says as Hisana jumps for him in the dance crowd. Slowly, everyone starts getting their dance partners as even Milo secures herself a partner. Hikigaya watches for a moment before looking back down at the abandoned cup. He then perks up just a bit.

“Shiori… Maybe I could-” Hikigaya says as he looks into the crowd and stops when he sees Shiori dancing slowly with Tsuki, his arms on her hips and her face tucked into his neck. He stares with wide eyes for a moment before looking down softly. He chuckles a bit to himself before shaking his head slightly. “This was a really bad idea.” He says before getting up and walking out of the dance.

In the dance, as everyone else is slow dancing including a nervous Touma and Chizuru, a happy blushing Ryuji and Lucy, Kitaro and Hisana, Haru and Sugawara and even Alice and Suiyoubi, Shiori holds onto Tsuki’s shirt tightly as she sobs silently into his neck. Tsuki sweats and looks a bit unsure of what to do.

‘What happened? She turned around for a moment, then she started crying. I didn’t know what else to do, so I just grabbed her and started swaying then the slow song started playing…’ Tsuki thinks to himself. He pulls back a bit and looks at Shiori. She stares down as he speaks. “Hey, are you okay? What happened?” he asks softly. Shiori just shakes her head a bit.

“Nothing…” she says back with a weak voice. Tsuki gets a concerned look before speaking again.

“I won’t pretend to know what’s going on in your head, but just know we’ll always be friends. You may not like me the way I like you, and I may no longer be pursuing you after tonight, but I’ll always have your back.” He says softly. Shiori smiles a bit before it fades again, and she nods. She pulls back even more while wiping her eyes.

“Thanks for asking me out, Tsuki, but I think I’m gonna head home now.” Shiori says. Tsuki stares at her for a moment but then nods reluctantly as she walks away. He stands there by himself as he watches her go, the gentle music and the crowd now behind him.

In the night sky, Shiori flies through the warm night air with her wings out as she continues to sob in the air. She tries wiping the tears away, but they continue to flow.

‘Why do I feel this way? I feel betrayed and jealous and hurt… But I have no right to feel this way. He can do whatever he wants, it’s not like he belongs to me. I don’t even like him, yet…’ As she floats through the air, she looks up a little with her eyes glistening from her tears and the moonlight. ‘I feel like my heart's been crushed.’ She thinks as she sobs, flying gently through the night sky, falling every now and then from the overwhelming emotions she's feeling.

The night of the End of the Year Dance comes to an end, and so does the end of the second school year. Summer comes as Shiori sits in her room on her bed with her knees brought up to her chest. Hamasaki comes up to her closed door with a concerned look. She pauses before knocking.

“Shiori? Chizuru and Lucy are here to see you again. Maybe you should come see them?” Hamasaki says gently behind the door as Shiori’s sad look only gets worse. Hamasaki waits for a response but doesn’t get any as she lets out a soft sigh. Hikigaya then comes out of his room. They make eye contact as he speaks.

“She’s still not coming out?” He asks softly. Hamasaki shakes her head. Hikigaya gets a concerned look as Hamasaki speaks.

“She hasn’t really come out in two weeks. I wish she would talk to me. I can’t help her if I don’t know what’s going on.” She says sadly. Hikigaya looks at Shiori’s door with a sad look.

‘I wish I knew too.’ He thinks. He goes downstairs and opens the front door to find Lucy and Chizuru waiting with worried faces.

“Is she coming?” Chizuru asks softly. Hikigaya shakes his head. Chizuru gets a sad look as Lucy gets frustrated.

“Errrgh… It’s been like two weeks! Summer vacation is passing us by, and she’s done nothing but sit in her room! She doesn’t even answer our texts! What has her so upset? Is it you? I swear, if you hurt her..!” Lucy growls at Hikigaya and lunges at him, but Chizuru holds her back.

“Calm down, Lucy! I’m sure Hiki didn’t do anything. Besides, it’s not her fault she feels this way. Whatever happened, it obviously hurt her. We just have to be there for her when she’s ready.” Chizuru says understandingly. Lucy calms down and nods. Hikigaya looks a bit awkward.

“I’m sorry you came this way for nothing, guys.” He says. Chizuru shakes her head.

“We’ll probably see you again soon. Let us know if anything changes.” Chizuru says. Hikigaya nods with a soft smile as they leave. He steps back inside as Riku comes up to Hikigaya. 

“Hikigaya?” Riku calls. Hikigaya looks at the little boy gently.

“What is it, Riku?” he asks softly. Riku pauses for a moment before punching Hikigaya in the balls. He falls over and holds himself in pain as Riku gets an angry look. “W-why did you do that?..” Hikigaya asks, wincing in pain.

“It’s your fault Shiori is so sad.” Riku says, defensive of his sister. Hikigaya gets a surprised look.

“My fault..?” Hikigaya asks himself under his breath. Riku nods angrily.

“Mhm! She told me so. She also said you were a big dummyhead.” Steam shoots from Riku’s nose as he looks accomplished before running away. Hikigaya sits there for a moment with a confused look.

“It’s my fault?”

Later that night, after everyone has gone to bed, Shiori comes out of her room. She comes downstairs and goes into the pantry, gathering the makings of a sandwich and makes just that. She begins eating it as she turns around to go back upstairs. She walks back into her room and closes the door behind her with sandwich still in hand. As she turns around to face her room, she stops with a surprised look. Hikigaya is sitting on her bed with a slight, awkward smile. She gets an irritated look and looks away from him defiantly. He sweats a bit.

“I’m sorry to intrude like this, but you seemed pretty set on not coming out to talk to anyone.” He says softly. She still looks irritated but sits down on her bed next to him. 

“What does it matter to you?” Shiori asks while taking the last bite of her sandwich.

“Well, you’re my friend, and I care about you.” Hikigaya says. She gets an even more irritated look as she looks away.

“Right, just your friend.” She mumbles. Hikigaya looks a little confused but more concerned. He pauses for a moment and looks down.

“Riku told me that it’s my fault you’re so upset…” Hikigaya says gently. Shiori looks at him surprised before rolling her eyes in frustration.

“Of course he did.. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything to him…” Shiori huffs. Hikigaya chuckles a bit.

“He also said you called me a big dummyhead?” He asks, a little surprised by her wording. Shiori blushes in embarrassment a bit.

“Of course he told you that too..” she says softly. Hikigaya smiles at her then looks down.

“Well, he’s right.” He says. She looks at him, confused and surprised as he continues. “I’m not always the smartest guy. I tend to hurt people’s feelings, sometimes without meaning to. And I also forget to say what’s going on in my head, especially when I should.” He admits softly while looking down, allowing himself to express what he’s thinking. “I’m not really sure what I did, but if I hurt you, please tell me. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do.” Hikigaya says clearly to her, lifting his gaze to match hers. Clearly conveying his genuine feelings. Shiori blushes a bit before looking down.

“You didn’t hurt me… I’m just being a crybaby. It’s okay for you to want to be with other people. I’m not sure why I even care so much.” Shiori says, calming down a bit. Hikigaya perks up at her words, catching his attention.

“What do you mean, ‘be with other people’?” He asks, confused by her words. Shiori fidgets a little.

“You know, you and Milo… I saw you guys kissing at the dance. I just assumed that meant you were getting together and I’d… be left behind…” Shiori admits with a sad look. Hikigaya looks at her confused.

“Kissing? But Milo and I didn’t kiss at the dance. She told me that she wasn’t going to pursue me anymore before leaving to go dance.” He explains. Shiori snaps her head up to look at him, shocked and confused.

“Wait, what?.. You mean, you aren’t…” Shiori speaks softly, her words trailing off a little. Hikigaya chuckles a little while responding.

“Definitely not! Milo has been annoying me about that for a long time. I’m just happy she’s finally moving on. That’s what this was all about? Here I thought it was something much worse, haha!” He laughs but immediately stops when he sees tears rolling down Shiori’s face. He gets concerned as she cries with a neutral expression.

“You mean… all this time I was worried… for nothing?..” she asks softly. She smiles a bit as she continues to cry until she begins to sob. She wipes her eyes as she cries out. Hikigaya freaks out as he thinks of how to comfort her.

“Please don’t cry! Everything’s okay! What were you worried about?” He asks, panicking over her as she continues to cry.

“I just… I thought that if we couldn’t hangout as much… the others wouldn’t want to be with me either… I thought that… I’d be all alone again… that I wasn’t good enough to be friends with them without you… I thought I’d lose you… I.. I don’t want to lose you!..”

She cries out, lifting her face away from her hands to face him with her eyes closed and tears streaming down her cheeks. Hikigaya stares at her as she cries for a moment more before he suddenly grabs her wrist, pulls it to the side and kisses her.

He acts suddenly, without warning. Shiori is surprised for a moment but soon closes her eyes and relaxes while they kiss. After a few moments, Hikigaya pulls away. He blushes as she does too, tears still rolling down her face.

“I’m sorry…” Shiori whispers. Hikigaya shakes his head.

“No, I’m sorry. For not being a good enough friend to you. To make you so insecure of our friendship, of all of our friendships, that you’d think we’d ever leave you.” He says softly, their faces still so close. She looks down as the tears begin to stop.

“I was just so afraid that without you, I’m nothing more than a nuisance to the others. I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone again… of being without you…” Shiori admits while blushing and looking down. Hikigaya looks at her softly. She slowly looks at him before blushing some more. She sighs in frustration as she slides off the bed and sits with her back against it on the ground. She lays her head in her arms as if trying to hide her shame.

“And now look at me. I’m a mess. We finally kiss, like actually kiss, and I look like a disaster. I probably stink, and my hair is all undone. That was probably the worst kiss ever…” she says, muffled by her face being buried in her arms. As Hikigaya joins her on the ground, he smiles softly as he takes her hand, lifting her head a bit. Shiori looks at him, a blush forming on her cheeks as Hikigaya stares at her softly, a look of adoration on his face. Neither one letting go of the other’s hand.

“I think you look adorable… Besides, the first time we kissed… we were both quite a mess, weren’t we?” he asks softly, referring to the time they kissed as vigilantes. She giggles a bit and nods.

“I guess you’re right. Still, this would be a terrible way to have our first kiss.” Shiori says with a soft smile on her face. She looks at their holding hands and blushes a bit more intensely before tightening her grip on his hand. Hikigaya notices her grip and looks at her. She looks back nervously, blushing more.

“Do you think… we can do it again?” Shiori asks timidly.

Hikigaya blushes and sweats at her request but gently nods. They slowly lean in close to each other and kiss once more. They kiss longer before pulling back ever so slightly. After a brief moment, they kiss again, Hikigaya pushing a little more than Shiori, as Hikigaya places a gentle hand on her cheek.

Without letting go of their kiss the best they can, Shiori slides her arm up and around Hikigaya’s neck. In response, Hikigaya slides his arm around her back and the other under her legs, lifting her, letting him pick her up and down back onto the bed. Their lips part as their kiss deepens, now fully on the bed. Shiori lays on her back, both arms wrapped around Hikigaya’s neck, as he holds himself over her. They kiss long into the night as time itself seems to fade.

Some time later, Lucy is at home watching TV as her phone rings. She sees that Shiori is calling her. She scrambles to grab it, falling over a bit in the process, and answers immediately.

“Shiori! Are you okay? What’s going on?” She asks, concerned. Shiori pauses for a moment before answering.

“Hey, do you think you and Chizuru can talk for a bit?” Shiori asks gently. Lucy sweats a little but answers affirmatively.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll get her over, meet at my place.” Lucy says.

“Okay.” Shiori says before hanging up. Lucy looks a little concerned but soon gets up.

A short time passes as Chizuru and Lucy wait outside her house. They perk up as they see Shiori approach them. She looks embarrassed, anxious, and flustered all at once but cleaned up from the night before. Chizuru rushes to her as Lucy follows.

“Shiori! Are you okay?” Chizuru asks, concerned. Shiori nods softly. Chizuru sighs and smiles a bit. “I’m happy to see you again.” Chizuru says warmly. Shiori smiles a bit before her smile fades again.

“Why do you look so sad?” Lucy asks, noticing her look. Shiori looks at her, blushing a bit more as she anticipates talking to them. Chizuru and Lucy stare at her for a moment, confused by her reaction.

A few moments later and after some explaining, Chizuru and Lucy yell in shock together.

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

Shiori closes her eyes from the loud yelling before opening them again timidly, embarrassed.

“Are you serious? You guys actually did that??” Lucy asks, totally in disbelief with a wide smile on her face. Chizuru has a big smile on her face as she holds in her excitement. Shiori nods.

“That’s great! They finally admitted how they feel!” Chizuru says excitedly. Her excitement only lasts a moment though as Lucy speaks up.

“Hold on, Chizu. She didn’t say they admitted anything. This might not be great if they don’t like each other.” Lucy explains, understanding the situation. Chizuru looks at Lucy confused before turning back to Shiori, who looks upset knowing she’s right.

“Oh..” Chizuru says softly, looking down a bit. Lucy steps towards Shiori.

“With what happened and emotions being high, what they did could have just been a spur-of-the-moment thing. And if that’s the case…” Lucy trails off as Chizuru gets it.

“Then their friendship might be in jeopardy…” Chizuru says softly, looking at Shiori with a worried look. Tears begin to form in Shiori’s eyes. She begins to speak more worriedly and erratically.

“I don’t know what to do… I avoided him all day because I don’t know what he’s gonna say… And I don’t know what to say either! I’m worried he might realize how terrible I am and not want to be friends with me anymor-” Shiori freaks out a bit, but Lucy quickly stops her.

“Woah, hold on, Shiori! This is Hikigaya we’re talking about. I’m sure that, no matter the situation, he won’t be mad at you. Secondly, let’s start from the top.” Lucy says, calming her down a bit. Shiori looks at Lucy slightly hopeful and comforted as Chizuru is confused. “Shiori… do you like him?” Lucy asks directly. Shiori is surprised as Chizuru is shocked by her directness.

“You’re really going all in!” Chizuru shouts.

“Well, if we’re gonna figure out what to do next, we need to know how she feels first. So, Shiori, what is it? Do you, or do you not like Hikigaya?” Lucy gives Shiori an intense but caring stare as Chizuru looks too. Shiori stands there nervously and sweats before closing her eyes tightly. She then slams her hands into her face and throws her head back with a frustrated yell.

“Ugh! I don’t know! These feelings are so complicated! He pisses me off beyond belief, and he’s always so annoying! He likes to tease me and seems to know just how to get under my skin! He’s an idiot and a total jerk, but above all… he’s kind…” She relaxes a bit, dropping her hands and lowering her head with an awkward, silly smile on her face as she thinks back to times Hikigaya showed her kindness.

“He’s always been so nice to me even when I didn’t earn it… He’s sweet and sometimes he can be… cute…” Shiori admits. Lucy and Chizuru smile warmly as Shiori wiggles her shoulders timidly back and forth, rubbing her bangs together. She blushes intensely and tilts her head a bit. “I think… If I can only say it once… I think… I like him…” Shiori finally admits softly.

Lucy giggles to herself at the sight before her as Chizuru starts doing an excited, happy dance. Shiori blushes in embarrassment and gets angry.

“But you cannot tell anyone! Got me?! Only you guys can know..!” Shiori says.

“Haha! Alright, alright, we pinky promise not to tell anyone.” Lucy says with a cool smile.

“I can’t believe this! You finally admitted it! Now there’s nothing standing in the way of your love!” Chizuru shouts happily. Shiori gets a surprised look with slight blushies.

“What? Why do you say that?” She asks. Chizuru looks at her blankly.

“Oh, well it’s super obvious Hiki is like, super into you. Oof!” Lucy chops Chizuru in the head to get her to stop talking. Lucy sighs in frustration before turning to Shiori.

“Shiori, look. I may not be an expert in love and only got my first boyfriend a little while ago, but here’s my advice. Take it slow. I’ve known Hikigaya for a long time, but I cannot say with certainty that he likes you likes you.” Lucy says, trying to keep her friend’s expectations realistic, a little nervous about the whole thing too. Shiori’s look drops a little, but she understands.

“So for now, I say wait and let things play out. I promise, everything will be okay. Chances are he’ll try to play it off like nothing happened as long as you don’t bring it up to him, okay?” Lucy says, giving advice to her friend. Shiori has a bit of a disappointed look but nods.

“Okay, I guess you’re right.” Shiori says softly. Lucy nods confidently.

“Of course I am. Now get going. The sooner you guys start acting normal again, the easier it’ll be to tell.” Lucy says, waving her off. Shiori tenses up a bit at her words.

“Normal.. Right.” Shiori says, disappointed. As she stands there, Chizuru looks at Shiori from the side for a moment before noticing something. Her eyes grow wide as an intense blush forms on her face.

"Shiori! What is that!?" Chizuru shouts as she points a finger at her neck. Lucy quickly looks at her to see what she means before Shiori gets super embarrassed and red, grabbing her neck. Lucy smirks and puts a hand on her hip. "That's a bite mark! OMC, Shiori!" Chizuru shouts with a blushie smile.

"Well, that kind of stuff is normal when that happens. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You should've seen Ryuji when we first-" Lucy says before she suddenly stops. She thinks for a moment before turning to look at Shiori. "Wait a minute. You have a healing power. That shouldn't have…" Lucy says before trailing off and staring at Shiori. She tries to turn away with an even more flustered look before Lucy's jaw drops with a smirk. "You left it there on purpose! You wanted us to see it! Shiori! You little slut!" Lucy shouts playfully as Shiori turns back to them, waving her hands in denial.

"N-no way! I just didn't realize!" Shiori tries to say as Lucy and Chizuru grab her hands and lead her back inside.

"Okay, Hikigaya can wait. You need to tell us every little detail!" Lucy says as the girls go inside.

A bit later, Shiori eventually parts ways with her friends, waving goodbye before walking off as her friends wave back with smiles on their faces. As soon as Shiori is a bit away, Lucy’s look shifts to one of concern as Chizuru steps next to her. 

“Are you sure this is the right way to go? I mean, there’s still a chance that she’s Cloud Girl too. With that and now this, what are the chances he doesn’t like her?” Chizuru asks Lucy. Lucy seems to be thinking.

“It’s not likely, but I’d feel terrible if she admitted her feelings to him and he turned her down. I don’t think she could handle that.” Lucy says. Chizuru nods, understanding.

“I suppose you’re right… Hiki never was the type to hide his feelings. Still, it’s pretty cute they did that, right?” Chizuru asks, smiling again. Lucy nods happily before turning and looking at Chizuru.

“Come on, if you’re not busy, let’s do some more research on Hikigaya’s cloud girl.” Lucy says. Chizuru lights up.

“Hehe okay!” Chizuru says excitedly before going inside with her. 

Shiori eventually makes it back home. She steps inside before running into Hikigaya downstairs. They both pause for a moment and stare at each other. Shiori blushes, and Hikigaya blushes a bit too. After an awkward pause, Hikigaya looks nervous before smiling big and awkwardly.

“Hey Shiori! Glad to see you up and out!” he says loudly. She smiles a bit and nods. She walks past him, going upstairs to her room. “Going back to your room already?” Hikigaya asks, watching her go. She stops and looks at him.

“I promise it’s not to lock myself in again.” Shiori says, giving him a soft smile. He smiles and nods back as she goes into her room. She sits on her bed with her head lowered a bit and a neutral look on her face. “Like normal…” she says softly with an exhausted sigh.