CH. 22 - Sugawara's Dilemma

“What happened to you guys?! Don’t tell me you already went for a swim in the pond up stream! I was saving that for tomorrow’s adventure!” Natsu exclaims, completely unaware of the events that just unfolded. The two of them just embarrassedly rub their heads.

“Well, as long as you guys had fun. Now, go get changed. Grubs on.” He gives them a solid thumbs up and they do as they are told. 

Later that night, well after the sun has set, the boys are in their tent laughing and enjoying each other’s company. 

“Haha, yeah! I still can’t believe you just went in the water and had a blast at the beach despite not being able to swim. Most people would want nothing to do with large bodies of water if they couldn’t swim.” Haru says with a smile.

“Well, the water doesn’t scare me. Besides, I knew we were only going in so deep. And you were there, so I knew I would be safe.” He laughs and Haru laughs back, but stops laughing a moment sooner than Sugawara. He smiles and blushes, looking at Sugawara, so happy. 

‘He’s so… cute, smiling like that…’ He thinks.

“Do you mean it?..”

Haru suddenly snaps out of his daze to see Sugawara blushing and staring at him, embarrassed. Haru suddenly freaks out, realizing he was staring.

“D-do I mean what?” ‘Crap! I was totally staring! What is wrong with me?! He definitely noticed!’ He thinks, worried. Sugawara plays with a bit of his hair as he speaks shyly.

“When you call me cute… Do you actually mean it?”

“Well, of course I do! You’re like the cutest person in our group! But don’t tell Ryuji that, he might get jealous.” He puts his hand next to his mouth and whispers, leaning in closer to Sugawara as if trying to keep it a secret despite it being just them here. Sugawara giggles to himself. Haru stares again and blushes while watching Sugawara. 

“Hey, Suga..?”

“Hehe, yeah?”

“What was it you were trying to say up there? Behind the waterfall?”

Sugawara smiles for a moment before an intense blush rushes over his face as he remembers what he was going to do.

“Oh uhhh that? I, uhh, was just gonna say how much I appreciate your friendship and stuff. Yeah haha that’s it.” He says, frantically rubbing the back of his head, trying to cover up the embarrassment of his almost confession. Haru almost seems to be disappointed by his response.

“Oh. Okay, yeah, that makes sense.” Haru looks down a bit. Sugawara catches his reaction.

‘Is he… disappointed? Did he want something else?’ “Haru…” He looks up and starts blushing. “Could you… call me cute again?..” Sugawara asks while he pulls the collar of his shirt down, blushing intensely. ‘What am I doing?! This is way too embarrassing! He’s gonna think I’m creepy!’ Sugawara blushes and stares at Haru, wanting him to call him cute again, but is on the verge of stopping due to his doubts. Before he can, however, Haru responds.  

“You’re… You’re so cute.”  He swallows mid sentence, getting choked up a bit because of his high heart rate. Sugawara blushes more now and sweats. He doesn’t know what to do next.

‘Ugh, this is so awkward! I don’t know what to do now! I just asked him to call me cute, and that’s it?!’

“Sugawara… Could you come here..?”

He snaps out of his thoughts and sees Haru with his arms out for him to come closer.

“You want me to… sit in your lap?..”

He nods.

‘What am I thinking?! That’s so weird, of course he won’t! He’s probably gonna think I’m some-’ Before Haru could finish his thought, he snaps out of it and looks forward to Sugawara’s face being very close to his as he adjusts himself in his lap. Sugawara wraps his legs around Haru’s waist, putting his butt right in his center lap. He places his hands down in between them while Haru gently and cautiously puts his hands on Sugawara’s hips. Sugawara makes eye contact for a moment with a terribly embarrassed look before looking to the side.

“Do you still like Chizuru?..” He asks. The question confuses Haru for a moment before snapping his attention back to Sugawara. He smiles and shakes his head a bit. 

“No.. I don’t think so. I’m not sure I ever did. Maybe it was just the thought of her? I’m not entirely sure, but I know now that this is where I want to be.” He puts his hands around Sugawara’s back and brings him in close for a tight hug. Sugawara snuggles his face into Haru’s neck and wraps his legs around his waist a bit tighter. After a moment, they both pull back and put their heads together.

They lock eyes as Haru slowly leans in a bit closer. Sugawara leans back a bit in automatic response but stops and closes his eyes. Haru follows through and puts his lips on his. They kiss for a moment before pulling away from each other. They both are blushing intensely. Haru smiles awkwardly.

“I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to…”

Sugawara shakes his head quickly.

“Can we…” He slowly slides his arms up and around Haru’s neck. “again..?”

Haru looks at him as Sugawara gives him longing eyes. Haru slightly nods then leans forward and kisses him a bit more confidently than before. They pull apart after a moment, then kiss again. Haru continues pushing forward with every kiss until eventually they lean so far that they fall.

Sugawara lands softly on his back with his legs still wrapped onto Haru’s waist and Haru with his hands next to Sugawara’s head, holding himself above him. They are both panting a bit, their hearts racing. They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment before Sugawara slowly raises his hands and opens his palms toward him. He has his arms open as if for an embrace. 

“More..?” He says in a whisper as Haru smiles and leans in. He kisses him a few more times before moving to his cheek, then along his face, down to his neck. As Haru kisses Sugawara right where his jaw and neck meet, Sugawara lets out a small whimper. Haru slowly leans back up with a slightly surprised look on his face. 

“Was that okay?”

Sugawara bites gently onto his own finger and looks away as he nods. Haru smiles and tilts Sugawara’s face forward again and kisses him once more. Haru grabs the blanket and pulls it over them as they continue to make-out and eventually the night comes to an end.

In the morning, Sugawara is the first to awake due to sleeping on the ground on some bags and blankets, being so used to his comfy bed. He expresses slight discomfort before remembering the events of the night. Blushing deeply, he looks down, seeing Haru’s arm wrapped around his waist. He gets a slightly surprised look when he realizes Haru is big spooning him.

 A pleased look spreads across his face as he calms back down. As soon as he closes his eyes, Haru stretches his arm and other limbs out with a grumble, then rolls over, releasing Sugawara. He gets a displeased look then sits up. Haru then follows and rubs his eyes and yawns. He looks over to Sugawara.

“Ah.. Good morning, Suga. Slept well I hope.”

“Y-yeah. I did, I guess..” He responds with a slightly confused and concerned look. He watches as Haru gets up and changes into more functional clothes.

“I’ll meet you by the fire ‘kay?” He says with a smile and then exits the tent. Sugawara stares for a moment with a confused look.

“He’s so… calm about it. Is he?..”

He eventually comes out and joins the others for a campfire breakfast but is slightly concerned while staring at Haru, who acts suspiciously normal by Sugawara’s standards.

The day goes on as it was originally planned to. Natsu took them to the pond where they were before. Haru and Aki play around a bit and laugh while Natsu bumps Sugawara, laughing as well. He smiles in response but is obviously more in his own thoughts.

Eventually, they pack everything up and begin the hike back to the car. Haru and Natsu sing a shanty while hiking. Sugawara watches closely but can’t help but be bothered by Haru’s demeanor. Aki then poked him in the arm.

“Hey, you okay? You’ve seemed out of it today.”

“Ah, yeah I’m fine. Just… thinking I guess?”

“Hm. Well, please let me know if you want to talk. Haru can be a dummy sometimes and not get the hint.” She says supportively. Sugawara just nods while looking at Haru again.

“Haha yeah…”

Eventually, the trip comes to an end and they drive their way back home for the next school day to start.

“You what!?!” Chizuru exclaims while her eyes sparkle with excitement. 

“Yeah…” Sugawara says softly. Shiori smiles deviously while Hikigaya rolls his eyes and gives her five Isos. The group is sitting around at their desks during lunch, but Haru and Lucy aren’t there. 

“What else happened??” Chizuru asks excitedly.

“That’s the thing… We kissed and made out, sure, but… come the next day, he just acted like his normal self. As if nothing happened at all.” He throws his arms over his head and slams his head into the desk in confused frustration. “Ugh, and now I just don’t know! Are we together? Does he think we’re just friends with benefits now? I don’t know what to do…”

“Why don’t you just ask him?” Ryuji says casually. Sugawara looks up.

“Ask him?” Ryuji nods. Sugawara looks down with an unsure look on his face. “I guess that’s a good idea…” He then begins to imagine scenarios where he asks him about what happened. ‘But if I ask him…’

‘“What? No, it was just a one-time thing. I’d never be with you for real.” 

He looks at him with a look of disgust.’

Suddenly the thought cloud bursts as Sugawara falls down again.

“No way! What if it was only a one-time thing?! I don’t think I could handle that kind of rejection…”

“Well, you’re gonna have to figure it out eventually. But seriously, good on you for making those moves. I couldn’t imagine having the confidence to do that.” Shiori says as she crosses her arms over her chest and leans back in her chair a bit. 

“I know! That just sounds too scary, even for me!” Chizuru says as Ryuji leans forward a bit.

“Talking about it is important. Trust Haru. He’s a kind person.” He gives Sugawara a straight look and Sugawara nods a bit, still nervous about it. Before he can think much more, however, Haru and Lucy come back to the room with their lunches. 

“Sorry about that, guys! I got so busy catching up on that show I was telling you about, I forgot to pack my lunch haha!” Haru says happily.

“Let me guess, you overslept and didn’t have the time to pack your lunch?” Hikigaya says with a playfully snarky tone to Lucy. She retorts.

“Ha ha, jokes on you. I actually was busy catching up on all the ways you are a nerd so bleh.” She sticks her tongue out at him as he does the same back before they giggle and she takes a seat. 

“Haru, do you have something to say to Sugawara?” Chizuru says, encouraging action between them. Sugawara looks up with a surprised and scared look on his face. Haru seems kind of confused before he lights up like he figured it out.

“Oh yeah! Here you go. I got you your favorite chocolate milk from the vending machine.” He puts down the bottle in front of him and gives him a big smile. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Sugawara says with a low tone. He grabs the bottle and turns away from Haru. His lukewarm response makes Haru’s smile fade a bit with confusion.

As the day goes on, Sugawara keeps his distance as he feels awkward and even a little upset at Haru about everything. Once the end of the day comes. Sugawara is walking alone, heading toward the entrance and straight home, as he doesn’t feel like socializing today. Before he can get far though, someone calls out his name. He turns to see Haru chasing after him and waving his arm trying to get his attention. Sugawara decides to stop and wait. Once Haru catches up, he catches his breath for a moment before talking.

“Sugawara.. I need to talk to you.”

“About what?” He responds slightly distantly.

“About you. About us. You’ve been really distant all day and I’m not sure why? Is it… about yesterday?” Sugawara sharpens his eyes a bit and looks away. Haru notices and begins to sweat. “Look, I’m sorry about all that… I thought maybe you wanted it too? But I guess you really didn’t, and I made you feel like you had to…” As he speaks, he lowers his head and gets a sad look on his face. Sugawara’s eyes widen a bit and he looks at Haru. “I understand if you don’t want to see me for a while… I just hope you know that I… I…”

“I love you.”

Haru’s eyes widen and he shoots his head up to look at Sugawara. He blushes intensely, as Sugawara does the same. 

“You… you do?” Haru asks. Sugawara nods and smiles in response. Sugawara lifts his hands towards him as if asking for him to take them, so he does. He puts his hands in Sugawara’s and they step closer together. “You’re not mad at me about before?” He shakes his head. “Then why were you so distant today?”

“You were acting so calm and normal after. I thought maybe you didn’t want anyone to know, and I was just… a fun time for you. I guess I realize now that you were just being happy the way you always are.” Sugawara explains with a sense of relief greater than he’s ever experienced. The smile conveying that emotion.

“You make me very happy.” Haru says in response with a warm smile on his face. Sugawara blushes, and they hug tightly. After a moment, Haru lets go and steps back. He takes his bag off of his back. “Well, I’m quite glad we cleared that up because that would’ve meant I got this for nothing.” Sugawara looks confused as Haru pulls out something from his bag. “I always noticed the way you sleep. You hug that pillow on your side, but I always thought it was too short, even for you. So I got him for ya.” He pulls out an air compressed bag with a stuffed animal in it. Sugawara looks at it, confused since it’s fairly small. Haru notices and laughs.

“Don’t worry! He’ll grow once he’s free, watch.” He tears open the bag and once it’s free from its cage, it begins to grow. Sugawara's eyes widen and sparkle as he watches the stuffed animal grow to almost his size. Haru lifts it toward him. “Would you… be my boyfriend, Sugawara?” He blushes as he asks timidly. Sugawara grabs the stuffed dragon in his hands for a moment before hugging it tightly and swinging it around a little. He then looks up to Haru.

“Yes.” Tears are in his eyes and he blushes, but all from the wonderful feeling he has right now. Haru smiles widely for a moment before Sugawara uses his finger as if to tell him to come in close. Haru blushes harder, then leans down and Sugawara puts his face next to Haru’s, his mouth next to his ear.

“Just so you know, I really like getting affection like, all the time.” He whispers. Haru blushes even harder now as they lean away from each other, and Sugawara gives him an affectionate look. Haru smiles nervously before leaning forward and kissing him once again. As they do that, just around the corner, Shiori, Chizuru and Hikigaya watch it unfold.

Hikigaya gives an approving smirk while Chizuru blushes and awes over it. She pulls up her phone to take a picture, but before she could, Hikigaya pushes her phone back down. Shiori stares with a smile on her face. Still smiling a bit, her gaze begins to lower as she gets deeper into her thoughts.

‘I’m happy for them. At the same time, though, I’m… jealous… Something so cute could never happen to me.’ She thinks with hints of sadness in her eyes.